Solo

Sa dame ng na luha na aking nailuha,
Minsan nasasambit ko kung kaya ko pa ba?
Sa dame ng oras na pinilit kong umahon,
Minsan naiisip ko kung kaya ko ba talagang bumangon?

Pinipilit ialis ang sarili sa matinding pagkakasadlak.
Matatakpan ang sakit ng mapagpanggap kong halakhak.
Aagos ang luha kung kalian muli ka ng mag-isa;
Tatanungin ang sarili kung ganito na lang ba talaga?

Hindi ako dinisenyong mabuhay ng mag-isa,
Kaya palagi kong inaantay na may makasama.
Alam ko paano magsolo, pero hindi ito ang kailagan ko.
Dahil ang mabuhay ng solo ay hindi ko natural na disenyo.

Sa panahong nakikita ang sariling mag-isa,
Pinipilit kong isipin na magiging okay na.
Kahit ilang pagwawaksi ang aking matanggap,
Pipiliting makahanap ng kahit isang makakausap.

Dahil sa panahong sinuong ko ang giyera ng mag-isa,
Sa likod ko andun ang hinahanap kong suporta.
Hindi ka naman talaga mag-isa..
Hindi ka naman magiging mag-isa..

Ipipikit ang mata para sa gabi ng pahinga;
Upang gumising at magsimulat ulit sa bagong umaga.
Umasa na sa araw na ito, hindi mo mararamdaman na ikaw ay solo;
Dahil sa araw na ito, mangingibabaw ang positiong perspektibo..

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Pusuan

Mga pusong mapagmahal at mapagparaya
Baket iyon ang palaging iniiwan at nababalewala?
Ang pusong mapag-alaga at mapagprotekta
Bakit hindi maingatan at mabigyang halaga?

Magmahal ng sapat ang laging sambit;
Ngunit di maitatago na sa dulo andun ang sakit.
Nagmahal ng lubos ngunit hindi pa din sapat.
Sa kanya, kulang pa din kasi marami syang “dapat”.

Nakaladkad ang pusong mapagparaya.
Baket minsan madaya ang tadhana?
Magmahal at mahalin lamang ang tanging nais,
At hindi ang nakakabaliw at paulit ulit na pagtangis.

Darating ang araw na ang luha ay simbolo ng saya;
Ang pagiging mag-isa ay senyales ng paglaya;
Darating din ang taong itinakda para sa mapagmahal na puso.
Mamahalin sya na para bang hindi nakaranas ng pagkabigo.

Dahil ang magmahal ay isang magandang simbolo
Masaktan man pero lalaban ang matapang na puso;
Pag dumating na sya, hindi mababakas ang sakit na dinanas,
Dahil dito, pinagtagpo ang dalawang pusong magmamahal ng wagas.

Heart on sleeve

Your heart is designed to be protected. See how this fist-sized thing is hidden, protected and safely nestled in your rib cage? That sends a message about how vital it is to protect your heart. It is a vital organ literally and figuratively.

I guess I am different. The rib cage suffocates me so I was born and chose to live with a heart on my sleeve. It is exposed where people can easily see it. It invites others freely. It does put a threat to this fragile heart I know. By doing and being like this, my heart will be bruised, beaten, abused and eventually be broken to pieces (figuratively). Some people won’t even care how fragile it is. They wouldn’t care if this thing gets hurt and trampled on. That’s a scary thing I thought to myself.

Whilst it is scary, I wouldn’t want to miss the beauty and benefit of being like this too. The wonders of having my heart exposed – It gives me the natural empathetic reaction towards things and situations that people often just ignore and consider as ‘just little things’. It gives me the courage to share my life, in fact a big chunk of myself towards others and not be afraid that people will judge me. I don’t believe in knowing people for a longer period before you can trust them because trust is among my initial gifts to new people (and the old ones have been lavishly enjoying it). I think that all human beings are naturally good souls.

Having my heart exposed allows me to connect to people. Instantly, I feel like I belong to their world and they belong to mine. It gives me the freedom to invite whoever needs a conversation and an extra ear to listen to their thoughts. I don’t want to miss the opportunity to lend a heart that listens especially in this day and age where people who truly listens are becoming extinct. It is the reason why it’s difficult for me not to respond to people, spend time longer and making it of quality and of impact. It’s never an option to fake an empathy towards others.

Wearing my heart on my sleeve gives me the self-fulfillment that while I am vulnerable, the world is seeing it is possible to still have a heart like this amidst the scary cruelty of this world. Being bruised, beaten, shattered and having this fragile heart doesn’t make you a superhero or even the damsel in distress but rather, it makes you, YOU. The fist-sized thing pumps for others to see. It pumps for others to experience a love that could be freely given, that hopes for healing, that sets free the people they love and values what is more important – the value of human being and having a positive impact to people around you.

It is a curse and a blessing having my heart this exposed but I’d rather see it as a blessing and give out as much blessings to others than fear the curse and curl up in my own tiny space and withhold the wonders that this fist-sized thing can give. After all, this is how my God created me. A heart so tiny yet so huge. I will allow as many people to dive in and discover that life is not so bad after all 🙂 That whilst it is a scary world out there, you will meet people along the way who have conquered their fear while having their hearts exposed. I have collected too many scars and I think my heart gets stronger every time. It doesn’t grow in size but it does a lot of wonders in closer and even wider proximity. I love how I was designed. And my heart is not going to curl up and hide. It will keep pumping to be a blessing. It’s free to love and be loved. It won’t be scared no matter how cruel this world treat this fist-sized thing. It is guarded yet free. It is meant for this world to see..

Araw

When special people leave, you count the days and make them count. How many sunrise and sunsets will pass until they are back and you’ll hear the annoying sounds that you’ve began to embrace and call ‘familiar noise’. Here’s to our OFWs and the loved ones living, breathing from different continents.

Sa bawat araw na lumilipas
Bilang ng buwan ay nagbabawas;
Isang araw na wala ka ay sobrang tahimik
Ngunit ito din ay isang araw palapit sa iyong muling pagbabalik.

Ang higpit ng iyong yakap ay nadarama pa
Ang tawang nakakahawa ay umaalingawngaw pa;
Ang samyo ng iyong pabango ay naamoy pa.
Bakit kasi matagal pa bago kita muling makita?

Ibinukas ang puso sa di pamilyar na teritoryo.
Ibinuhos ang panahon sa mga bagong tao.
Napansin ng puso ang pangungulila
Nahanap ng puso ang pagkakalinga.

Ang iyong tawang nakakahawa ay hinahanap hanap
Nangungulila sa iyong mapagkalingang mga yakap
Inaasam muli ang iyong pagbabalik
Kahit na mapuyat pa sa lakas ng iyong hilik.

Ang mga araw na wala ka ay mabilis na dadaan
Bawat pagsikat at paglubog ng araw ay aking babantayan;
Hanggang sa dumating ang araw na nandito ka na
At muling madarama ng puso ang pamilyar na pagsinta.

How we love..

Love is not an emotion. It’s a decision, a commitment, a path filled with pre-decided thoughts. It is being genuinely joyful for that person even if that means having a genuine laugh with other people. It is loving fully without the guarantee of being loved back. There were two seemingly meant-to-be people but they aren’t and the so called ‘forever person’ happens to be not him.

When I remember him, I don’t feel the pain of letting him go and seeing him walk away, but instead, I’m thankful for that collision where our souls met and recognized each other despite decades of not knowing we both existed. Our souls recognized each other as citizens of heaven.

When I remember him, I don’t cry sad tears anymore. I see great things ahead – his own beautiful family, sincere laughter, triumphs, road trips and amazing future – even without me in it.

I pray that when he remembers me, he would imagine me genuinely smiling, enjoying life and he’d envision my bright future – even without him in it.

He’s got that special space in my heart and I thank him for everything, for moving on and letting go despite of how painful it is for us both. We did something shameless and blameless because ultimately, we did something that is now pleasing to God. He healed our hearts. He made us new. He made us whole. He filled our emptiness. Our hearts have healed. When it’s all complete, I’ll see him again in eternity and there, I’ll love him a thousand years more.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

love-is-patient

Be “It”

 

Because you deserve a love better than your last.

A love that doesn’t manipulate
but rather celebrate;
A love that understands you
and not afraid to challenge you;

A love that can look past offense and hate
yet doesn’t tolerate;
A love that forgives freely
and not afraid to look silly;

A love that celebrates your success
and accepts your failures;
A love that deals with you in private
and not spread hurtful gossips.

A love that will keep on giving
instead of thinking what to take;
A love that thinks of keeping you happy
And mend hearts when they break.

A love that seeks the good in you and honors you for it;
A love that nourishes your heart and carefully hold it;
A love that tears down your insecurities;
A love that knows you’re among the top priorities.

A love that sees you as flawed yet perfect;
A love that genuinely care and protect;
A love that gives the warmest hug and the sweetest kiss;
A love that makes you go beyond the feeling of bliss.

A love that has a good amount of healthy jealousy;
A love that isn’t afraid to say “I’m wrong and I’m sorry”.

When you find this kind of love, please treasure it.
If you’ve found it and lost it along the way,
can you give that kind of love instead?
Don’t wait for you to find it, can you please BE “IT”?

Because we all deserve a love better than our last.

Missed

How do you break up from a friend?
How do you move on when you’re single?
How do you burst a genuine laughter when you are grieving?
How do you jump when all you want is to curl up while sobbing?

How do you make the words rhyme?
How do you make up for the lost time?
How do you erase the hurtful things?
How do you pick up yourself after falling from a cliff?

How do you make a difference when you are afraid of trying?
You can’t correct the wrongs if in your head, they keep replaying.
If you step out of that hurtful wrongs, you embrace the freedom
If you heed to that still small voice, you increase wisdom.

The process is going to be painful and you can let go if you must
Move on by taking tiny steps and start brushing off the dust.
The sky is not exempted from crying so give yourself a good cry.
Spread your weak wings and prepare to fly. Try it baby, please try.

You can move even when you’re single.
You can break up from a friend.
You can have a new life.
You can soar higher.
You can do more.
Be more.
..and shine brighter.